Bits and Pieces - Momentos

Passei os meus dedos pela agua morna, sentindo-a acariciar a minha pele de forma quase aveludada.
A temperatura estava perfeita, tal qual o desejara.
Deslizei o robe de seda pelos meus braços, descobrindo pouco a pouco o meu corpo nú, provocando um suspiro quando o ar frio me arrepiou a pele e enrijeceu os mamilos.
Deixei-o cair no chão como se me livrasse de uma segunda pele, como se removesse a carapaça com que me envolvia todos os dias pela manhã.
Ergui uma perna após a outra e submergi-as na água tépida coberta de bolhas de sabão perfumado, debrucei-me para a torneira, terminando os jorros de água fumegante que se misturavam no meu leito aquático e alvo.
Deixei-me descair e cobri-me completamente com a espuma, deixando somente a minha cabeça à tona por mais uns minutos antes de também ela submergir completamente.
Abri os olhos dentro do meu pequeno mar caseiro de águas turvas e observei com prazer o exterior distorcido pelas bolhas enquanto sustinha minha respiração.
Sorria no silencia e desfrutei da paz submersa em que me encontrava.
Senti-me viajar dentro da minha própria mente...
Corria desnudada numa planície branca, sentia-me livre de tudo e de todos, sem julgamentos, sem inibições, sem medos ou tristezas. Somente eu, a paisagem branca e a sensação de leveza e liberdade.
Emergi do meu pequeno paraíso quando o oxigénio escasseava mas aquela sensação permaneceu.
Algo de mim permanece sempre na planície, cru e livre.

Bits and Pieces - Awakening

The sun had just set under the tall mountains and her crept bones started to come to life once more. The bones slowly reattaching themselves, skin leaving its emaciated look gaining a soft blush.
Her eyelids slowly fluttered open as the distinctive sound of the creatures of the night awaken from their enchanted sleep.
Softly she raises her cold torso and eyes warily her chamber. No one but her and her beautiful slave boy inside.
She listened to the sounds of the night mixed with the scrapping sound of her brothers trying to access her resting ground, the smell of the sweet man's blood allured them as they rise with the burning hunger inside.

He was not her first, it would not be her last but while he served her, there would be no other.
She tentatively tried to use her voice, feeling her throat raw from the thirst but as if compelled he raised his eyes to her and walked to her, kneeling by her stone bed, lowering his eyes as he turned his palms up to show his devotion and obedience to her.

She smoothly emerged from the cold coffin that protected her during her deathly sleep and demanded for one of his wrists. Swiftly he raised it to her, bracing himself for the pain and pleasure that followed, feeling himself strained and confined inside his chastity cage once her teeth brazed his skin, borrowing life from him to renew and empower his lady.

Her needs and appetites must be sated, he knew this inside and complied willingly with a loving and blind servitude. His frail life at her mercy, so easily taken from him if she so wished it. But even so, he could not help but to feel he had his on claim on this demoness that captured his heart and soul. He desired to be the only one to serve her, to make her become alive once again night after night even though his life years and youth would not accompany her through her long afterlife.

Secretly he wished for it not to be so, he wished that she would grant him with her gift of eternal life as he gave her his blood every night, he wished she would find him worthy of accompanying her into the eternal Night into the arms of Lilith and rejoice in immortality. But he would not ask it, he dreamed day after day that she would value his devotion and love and one night she would deem him worthy.

She released his wrist and ran her thin fingers over his head, entwining them in his clean and perfumed hair as she started to move fluidly once more, rejuvenated by his life essence.

"Thank you boy..." She spoke in her melodic and bewitching voice.
She opened the chamber door and the animals and brothers shrank back as she observed them with red rimmed eyes. They kneeled for her just as he did and watched her carefully not to look her in the eyes while she extended her arms up in praise with moon beams reflecting in her pale skin.

"Mother, welcome me into your arms again..."

Bits and pieces - My "never-ending" book

Hello my fellow readers.

As some of you may know, and many don't, I have been writing a book for a long time now.

It tells the story of two sisters, who happen to be twins and their awakening to eternity and rivalry.

Some parts of this never-ending job have been shared with some of my most illustrious friends so that I could receive feedback and suggestions that would allow me to continue to push forward towards the goal of completing my "masterpiece".

My friends have given me their opinions and I tried, and keep on trying, to work through one of my biggest issues when writing -  description. I have a tendency to be very quick when describing something. I blame it on Eça de Queiroz and his description of the "Ramalhete" mansion on his book entitled "Os Maias". Ever since I went through the pain of enduring the longest description I've ever read of a house that I try to keep things simple and allow the readers to fill in the gaps with their own imaginations.

The other issue that keeps delaying me is the language it is being written in. It is being written in my native language, what to many should mean that the words flow easier, to me means hell. 

I have all the respect in the world for my country and its language but after working for Brits most of my young adult life, plus studying and reading English and American Literature in the original versions, I find myself feeling more at ease with my english than with my portuguese...

The final issue that is causing me a lot of grief is more technical and the reason why I am making this post. 

I consider myself a perfectionist and my worst critic, so when I decide to write I choose themes that I am familiar with or that I put on a good time making research and I don't publish them until I am fully satisfied with what I have written. 

Going to the point now before I stray too much from my intention. 

There is a chapter with some relevance to the story that will contain a military invasion.

Now, what do I know military strategy you ask? Nothing. 

To add to that, this invasion occurs in a post apocalyptical setting and that means the resources are limited.

So I come here with a request. Can you suggest books or places where I can get information on how to plan an invasion properly? 

I'm counting on you

xoxo

Sofia

Bits and Pieces - Thoughts about rebound

Ah rebounds... who can ever say not to have gone through one of these?

Like my favorite band says "The hardest part of ending is starting again", so most of people engage on what I like to call a false restart a.k.a. rebound.

There are a lot of situations that can lead to a rebound but the most relevant one is that you really had true feelings for your previous partner/ boyfriend/husband, and you left or were made to leave with some sort of damage, whether it is loss, hurt, low self-esteem, self-hate, numbness, a total abandonment of the thought of ever loving someone again or considering the possibility of someone loving you back without eventually leading to the situation you are when at the end of a relationship.

Attention, not all people go through the rebound process, I am aware of that. Some people are actually able to "fix" themselves without a "cane". I say good for them and it only makes them better than the rest and namely me. Oh yes, I'm a rebounder in recovery, just like an ex-addict... we'll get to there.

There are different kinds of rebounds but I can only comment and give my opinion from a woman's perspective and from shared female knowledge. The men will have to forgive me but I've never encountered one that even admitted that he was rebounding or willing to talk about it (What? Me? No woman brings me down... I'm totally over her... Her loss...)

Let's see some of the rebounds:

1) "Multiple one night stands"
The most common type of rebound that happens commonly in nightclubs.
You go have a few drinks to release our inhibitions, relax and when the bad memories start flooding back, you find your mission :  Have sex until you forget your name and without someone you don't want to know the name.

The end result: this can have a lot of consequences, especially because we still live in a society where if men fuck all that moves they are "The MAN", a true playboy and so on, but if you are a woman doing that the word that comes to all minds isn't to appreciate her skills as a seductress, the word is as you already know - whore.
You don't care about your reputation, that's fine, but consider diseases and the dangers you put yourself in for leaving a club with someone you don't know. It may be a killer, a rapist or whatever, what you need to consider is - Is that really going to work for you? Are you going to feel any better by waking up in the bed of some stranger that you intend to never see again?

2) "Revenge Date"
This is what I call the next type of rebound. I called it a date because I don't think we can classify it as a relationship.
You are hurt and you want to hurt someone like you were hurt, so you find that guy that you don't particularly like but is kind of o.k. and you punish that poor bastard for everything you put up with on your previous relationship. He so much as breathe and you fall on him like a hammer of justice. You feel your stress and frustration leave you temporarily and the guy just suffers.

The end result: Unless you choose a masochist or someone with little self love, you are going to get dumped again, because no one is going to put up with that since the beginning, even if they have true feelings for you. Another consequence of this one is the fact that you are the villain, you are becoming the same thing that destroyed you in the first place and you are hurting someone who has no fault of what happened to you and you may be ruining your future chance to have another shot at love.

3) "Fuck buddies style" & 4) "Friends with benefits style"
These are the most complex for me and the most dangerous types of rebounds.
So you have that male/female friend that you have no feelings about but he/she is willing to get down and dirty, so you engage in an agreement that all you will exchange is bodily fluids, no obligations, no strings attached just pure sex. So here is where you draw the borderline on the transition to "FWB".
Until here it's just sex, you finish it, you leave.

The end result: There is no talk, except for the dirty one, no tenderness, nothing. Empty and meaningless sex - which is why eventually you will stop, grow bored because it isn't enough or progress to the next stage.

FWB unlike FB has content. You discuss your day, you have a higher level of intimacy, you might even spend the night and find yourself in a cuddle. You don't lie to one another or pretend to be ok because you don't have to. For me, it's a relationship without calling it that.

The end result: The proximity to an actual relationship makes it easier for you to get involved, even if it is not mutual. When that happens, the whole purpose of the arrangement falls to the ground and you get hurt once again. Instead of helping you heal, it ends up making it worse and that is why I find this type of rebound the most cruel and dangerous one. Eventually someone is going to get hurt and you will lose a friend on top of that.

4) "The dive"
This one is my personal favorite. You have barely licked your wounds but you force yourself to find someone new and start over again because you hate to be alone and don't want to be alone. So you find a nice guy, that will have his flaws and may not be that compatible with you but you choose to overlook it and invest in a full on relationship. You hope that with time you will forget the other guy because the new one is so nice.

The end result: Well, one day you will wake up and realize that you have made a big mistake by letting it drag for a long time. He gave you what you needed and now you are finally ready to move on. The worse part is there is no way to predict when it is going to hit you, if it is after a few months, after you're engaged, married or with kids which can be very complicated and stressful.
There is a reason for that saying that goes like "Never marry your rebound guy", because one day you may wake up and think "Oh shit".

The conclusion is that eventually rebounds end up bringing more bad things upon your hurting heart, ego and self-esteem, than good but when it works it makes you feel good and more empowered and eventually happier. I focused on the negative because it is the part we never think about when starting a rebound relationship but also something we should have always in mind too. You have to be able to decide and consider if it is really worth it or not.

Here is a suggestion, the "Me, myself and I" rebound. Take some time away and be alone to think what went wrong and to rebuild yourself, piece by piece. It won't be as easy as screwing your feelings back into submission but it will have the best effect long term.

Feel free to hit the comments box with your opinions.

(It's great to be back!) xoxo Sofia

Khira Chronicles - The reveal of the fallen (part 2)

Khira left the room closing the door on her way out violently. Zephyr barely moved at such a youth's rage display and remained sipping on the fresh blood inside his goblet.
He waved the servant away and looked outside the window pondering his next move.
The heavy drapes on the edge of the room rustled a little and a feminine voice broke the silence too soon for his liking, but there were bothers to be bared in order for his plans to work. And the Queen was one of them.

"How did it go with the young vampire?"

He took a long sip before turning to face the beautiful female now standing in front of him. He might be old but he still was not unaffected by beauty specially if it came from a real cast and not some half-breed or turned vampire.

"It went as planned. The bastard seemed very affected by the information I gave her. So volatile the younglings, won't you agree Eunice?"
"Raven did a great job too, so I am guessing the mother will be just as enraged."

He looked straight at her and he could almost tell the chill of terror or desire it caused on the poor queen's skin. He stood and moved so quickly she barely saw or sensed him before she feel on her back on to one of the luscious couches that filled the room with him straddling her lap and his tongue on the sensitive neck nape.

"And what happens now Zephyr?"

He looked at her with a devious grin on his face, he leaned down to lick her skin, brushing his fangs dangerously over her neck before replying to her.

"Now, the bastard child turns on the wolves along with the her whore of a mother. The Lamia will no longer have to worry about those rebellions mutts and we can blame their deaths on them before the Elder council." He twirled the liquid inside his goblet and stared at the Chamber queen. "Then you will rule along with me, not on a forgotten city but over all Lamia. The rule of the Kiergartens will be over... forever."

Image by Victoria Frances

                                                                          *


As she approached the Frederick's door step she paused and considered all of what she had learned about her mother and the reasons that led her to leave her behind. More importantly, what did Zephyr had to gain with sharing all that knowledge with her?

She questioned all of her previous doubts, she questioned her upbringing with the pack and Bogart teachings. Had she really been so blind and naive all that time? Had she only been the killing machine, that got her the name and fame as The Sculptress, to serve the purposes of the Lamia natural enemies?
Had the sense of home and belonging been just an act for as long as she played just what they wanted her too and never truly accepting who she really was and the differences between species?

Her mind was racing, everything she ever knew for certain was now covered with a big question mark.
She knocked on the door hoping her mother's previous lover would be able to help her and be the friend he wanted and proclaimed wanting to be.

The girl that Frederick protected as his own daughter opened the door and gave her a lopsided smile.

"You arrived just in time, Khira."
"And why is that so Morgan?"

She gave her silence and simply gestured to the right showing her the path to be taken and smiled once again before shutting the heavy oak door behind them.
Khira walked as led keeping her head down, still trying to decide what to ask first. The she raised her head and stopped frozen under the threshold.

"Mother?..."

Announcement

I am happy to announce that I have created an Youtube channel.
When I have further news I'll let you know.

Happy readings

Khira Chronicles - The reveal of the fallen (part 1)

If there was something that Khira had learned well during her years among vampires was not to trust them and to reveal the full extent of her abilities.
Their ignorance proved to be a powerful weapon if needed, it sure helped her escape to meet the Bojangles pack years ago.
She was just sitting at the local pub when the courier delivered Zephyr's invitation to break fast with him, he assured her of a very amiable vintage meal that she would surely enjoy, but more than offering a quality meal, he offered information on her mother's whereabouts.


"If he knew something, why didn't her say so when introduced to me? Maybe he didn't want the queen or Frederick to hear..."
"Did you say anything love?" Asked the scruffy old hag that tended the bar, she seemed to incorporate every concept of old wicked witch into one human, or not, vessel.
"Just talking to myself Ma'am."


She grumbled something Khira did not understand and resumed to what to seemed an "Morticia Addams" method of cleaning. The rag she used to scrub the counter must have been as old as her and it the true antithesis of clean.
Khira tried to ignore the fact that her bare arms were laying on the counter that must had been cleaned by that rag and returned to her rationalizations.


If her instinct was correct, Zephyr had something up his sleeve and the fact that he was an Elder so far away from the official Lamia court did not help her suspicions. He was up to something and by agreeing to meet him, she might be placing herself deliberately in danger.


"What's life without a little danger?" She said loudly before running her tongue over her fangs. "Might as well enjoy the meal and who knows? I may be wrong..."
"What?" The old witch yelled back to her.
"Nothing Ma'am, here is my expense." She got up and headed to find Zephyr's place of residence.


The old witch cursed and muttered to herself while watching Khira leave. "Damned young people, no manners..."


Khira didn't take long to find the location described in the message, she pondered for a few seconds if she should maybe warn Frederick of where she was but then she started remembering all his clingy attitude and quickly decided that it was better to depend only on her own as she had been taught.


Before she could knock on the door, it squeaked and opened for her revealing a very pleased vampire on the other side. He had a traditional japanese robe, the lantern Hakama, and his silvery hair was neatly pulled back in a high ponytail.


"Welcome, young one. Please do come in." The pointed with his arms the direction she should follow and she entered calmly, trying to take in as much information as possible about the place she had just entered. 


For a lion's lair, it looks quite fashionable. Let's just hope I don't become the lamb...


Zephyr lead her through the hallway until he reached a small living room, with a very cosy feel. The three sofas that populated the space looked extremely comfortable and the matching pillows added a welcoming feel to the room. It was anything but what she expected to find in the house of an Elder, stone walls and hard wood benches would me so much more in time with the owner, but she also guessed that for him to survive for so many centuries, at least she guessed that it would be his age, would have adapted to more current trends but still she was expecting the cliché. 


If she couldn't follow the preconceptions and common notions about the old ones, then she really was about to enter total unknown territory with Zephyr. The monarchs of the Lamia were old and powerful but the Elders were in a totally different category of power and might.


"Please do sit down Khira." 


She picked a long sofa across from where he was standing and sat down crossing her legs, she would play cool and relaxed until need of other stance. 


"So, this information you claimed to have, sir, will you be willing to share it now that I am in your presence?"
"Ah... the haste of youth... All in good time, dear Khira. Shall we not feed first?" He pushed a small button that had remained unnoticed by her until then and shortly after a maid entered with a child no older than 5 years in front of her and carrying an elegant decanter that resembled an hourglass filled with a rich dark colour in her hands.


"Do you like yours straight from the source? Or perhaps a bit more fresh?"